Day 41

Don’t worry there was no update yesterday; we stayed at the baby house and there was not anything really to talk about. Today however, we went into Kampala to get some stuff done in advance, that we know we need to get done and rather then make a trip later we went today with some other people that went into town.
This morning I called the lawyer to find out if I could get a copy of the birth certificate that he had generate because we know that we will need for paperwork, however when I called him, he told me that he had not generated one since it was not required for court. So there we are knowing we need one but one was never generated. We will have to go to the social work near the baby house to have one generated but first we need go to the hospital to have them agree with us on Elliott’s age. So we will do all that tomorrow to get the birth certificate out of the way.
So today we were able to get passports photos of Elliott. We had to get a number of photos, since they need them for his passport, immigration, medical check, and visa. After photos, we went over to the doctor so that Elliott could do his physical that is required for the US Visa. This was hard on me because the whole time was there I was thinking about how we went through this with Ethan and that I could not go through that whole thing again. I know God is with but my insides were shaking so bad I almost threw up. It has to be the most uneasy was about losing Ethan since we have had Elliott. God told me he would be with me and get me though it but he never promised it would be easy. I was talking with the lady from the baby house and she told me that it would be ok and that getting guardianship of Elliott will not be a big issue. This is a relieve, but still that does not help heal the pain that losing Ethan caused. I know that God is working in me and is growing my faith and only through him I will be able to get through this.
The other issue that came up the last couple days is that we realized that all of our paperwork has Ethan’s name on it and does not have Elliott’s. This included my power attorney that Aaron gave me to sign paperwork on his behalf. This means that Aaron will now need to redo most of the paperwork back in the states and send them all over here to me. We know that is a God thing that we realized now because it would have delayed the process if this slipped and then I had to wait on the paperwork. So thank God that he know all and understands all, even this process of adoption here in Uganda. Thank you all for praying it is truly helping as Aaron and I have now been apart for 3 plus weeks. I know that prayer and time with God is the only way that I am still able to stand here in Uganda.

Day 39

You don’t even know how happy I am to know that in a couple more weeks I will be able to take Elliott out of the baby home …God has been so faithful to show me his hand in all of this..I know I could not be here without is strength..even when my mind wonders off He is faithful to reassure me that he is there and is working out His plan…I am so exited to go to Court and watch God show off how much he loves and cares for us…Iam praying these next couple weeks go by super fast!!!

Day 38

I woke up at 4am to go to Kampala today to pick some meds up and my other bag from the guest home…I found out today that I will for sure make it home for thanksgiving …a heavy load has been lifted knowing I will only be at baby home for two weeks and a few days…Elliott was excited to see me after not seeing me in the morning…he is looking different already..Sorry Aaron!! It has been a great day!! Elliott is again sitting here with me helping me write…we have two hours together before dinner…Aaron really want to take a few weeks and bond with is boy so thanksgiving will be quiet at our house ..I didn’t put into consideration that he doesn’t know his daddy yet… with lots a people around he won’t know who is staying and going…we are going to do a thanksgiving marathon though as a family that should be fun…ok got to go Elliott is done with his snack..if I don’t feed him first he is a crank..after food he is much happier such a boy!!!

Day 37

Well guys it will be a short update Elliott is sitting by me eating popcorn and watching veggie tales….it is a sunny day but refuses to play when I am down with other kids he just wants to be held..and when I look out the window to check on him he was just waiting by the steps waiting for me..but up stairs he will play and run around..i can’t really interact with him when he won’t let me put him down..this morning I woke up feeling horrible with a sinus infection…I finally caved and snorted the salt water all day..i am feeling better..in my spare time I am doing a lot of studying and research…two weeks and two days till court…yeah!!! Then things will speed up…tomorrow I have to leave Elliott all day while I go in to town to get my stuff from Kampala and other stuff we need ..so he won’t have his one on one time…so sad!!! Mom will be ok I mean Elliott will be ok…I celebrate the thought of coming home..

Day 36

Well as you all know we have are court date..Praise the Lord there is a end in sight...so with that stress out of the way me and Elliott went out with the toddler group to go on a boat ride to the source of the Nile..it was a good break from the Baby home…we got to see huge lizards and sea monkeys…
so we are almost there we still have lots to do but we really can’t do much till after the court date then we wait to get written approval after that we can apply for His passport and go in to get his medical checkup for His visa..So we just really wait at this point…the slow pace life is getting to me…I am trying to embrace it and take it in ….I just want these next few weeks to go by fast… so we can move Elliott out of the baby home….I am so restless today..I am not even wanting to count the days we have left..I know we still will be here for at least 5 more weeks…But we will be home before 2009..so I am happy!! This part of the journey is not over yet..I cannot wait to be home and start our new life as a family and be
with everyone.....especially jumping right into the holiday season..my heart jumps for joy at the thought..Elliott is going to love it…Aaron already made up the Christmas cards that’s my super planner..I am learning to be anxious for nothing…I do want to take all that I can from this trip..I feel like a different person..it brought out the worst and best in me…the best is what I am wanting to take home…The more I think about it I just know this is exactly where I was supposed to be at this time…I miss every one soo much and can’t wait to hug you all!!

Day 35

Well I will just start off my saying God is good!!! This has been the hardest thing I have ever been though but the greatest thing for my faith..my weakness our coming out and God is helping me overcome them on by one..I wouldn’t trade this season for the world!! No matter how hard it is…ok first off I was giving Satan way to much credit…I forgot he has no power he is just a deceiver… Note that he isn't a roaring lion, he just acts like one! people live by fear, inspired by the devil. Fear is the reciprocal of faith... it is faith perverted! So, by using the fear of death, mankind was subjected to bondage. The scripture says in Hebrews 2:14:
second I thought I knew that God word was living and breathing..But now I really know what that means..God gave me a scripture that I have been standing on well one of many…
I will show up and Take care of you as promised and BRING YOUBACK HOME ..I know what I am doing ..I have it all planned out..plans to take care of you, not abandoned you, plans to give you the FUTURE YOU HOPE FOR…when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else I will make sure YOU WONT BE DISAPOINTED…I will bring you back from the countries into which I DROVE YOU…I will bring you home from the place from which I sent you off into exile….that part is just to funny!!!
Faith is all I have to stand on the alternative is not an option..Not for me..I know I am right where I am suppose to be it also is the hardest place I have ever been..not only am I getting a boot camp on my faith but also a son….God planned this before the foundations of the world !! my heart still is heavy but I just put my praise on !!

Day 34

Wow I had a great night with God I got so pumped and ready to take on the day!!! I went down with Elliott and was playing and I was praying..I was fighting off the fear because we still have no court date that we know of..we were suppose to have one a week ago..so not seeing a end in sight really got to me..I knew I had to get back into my prayer closet asap…I allowed fear to crowd in and take over even though God gave me such peace and strength that night..grr!! so today has been a struggle But Iam getting back in battle passion and not allowing this to steal my faith..Elliott cries when I leave and just clings on so tight when with me and wont get down and play..this grips my heart..I can’t stand it…I just know he is counting on us..I came to the end of me today…when I am weak he is strong …so I don’t have really a lot to say other then I am not leaving Elliott I see him as my boy and I would never leave my child..I feel God is still at work here bad news so is the devil…

Day 33

Well it is rainy season here..YUCK!!..So me and Elliott have been hanging up in my living courters playing and eating popcorn..he loves it…every time I go down to get him he starts to cry like to say you came back..then he clings on for awhile…He said Airplane to day I have been telling him he would be going on one…he just looks at me as to say like Really!!
During this whole process and fighting of all my fears I have to wonder how many blessings or things I have missed out on because I backed down because of fear…God has been so faithful during this whole thing he also is teaching me how to fight and stand in the midst of a storm not with draw or run for cover…I already know this is not my last fight for Elliott’s future..I was listening to a podcast this morning by Leon Fontain…he was saying you can be in the middle of the worst storm yet still be in the middle of his will..you can hear God clearly then next step all hell breaks loose..why would God call us to be conquers and tell us to put on the armor of God if we were not going to be facing trials….fear must die so faith can rise and Christ can be glorified….fear I learned is a great tactic of the devil….the word really is the weapon that work the best…I can make positive confessions…but when I speak the word and his promise that is my greatest defense…I look forward to being home but I would not miss this opportunity to be with my son …so no word yet on court date..I choose to walk by faith not by sight…my God is working all together for the good..he already has gone ahead of us….

Day 32

Well today is going better I think I just allowed myself to get exhausted and in my weakness my emotions Got the best of me…so this morning I went down to get my boy he knocked 3 kids down to get to me..well when me and the little man was praising God together God gave me such a peace that we would be home by thanksgiving..I got so giddy..my lawyer then emailed saying it will be 3 weeks at the most!! Praise the lord !!! I know God is in control and bottom line there is no way I am leaving this little man…people ask if I am mad at all about everything..honestly there is no hard feelings I know all of this brought us to Elliott …He is the reason God brought us here..I wish Aaron could see what I see when I look it to his eyes ..God planned this from the beginning for Elliott to be our son…
Well I once again Have put my trust in God Isaiah 30:16 your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save your self..your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me….30 :18 but God is not finished …he is waiting around to be gracious to you..He is gathering strength to show mercy to you..God takes time to do everything right everything…those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones…

Day 31

Well last night I was feeling like I need to go upstairs to do some praying...so I locked myself in this little sun room…I realized I was worshiping God out of pain and frustration..he has been faithful to bring strength..but when I let my circumstances go and just worshiped him to worship..it was so liberty..I came out refreshed like never before..Not a care in the world…then I read in judges on Gideon when God told him he was a mighty warrior .. 12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
13 "But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders "Go in the strength you have
Gideon did not believe him but through God showing him and him walking in to what God told him to do he begun to belive..took him a while..God was patient in his doubt..God used him to show it was God through him and not him..
So I finally went to bed and turned out all the lights..one hour later I heard through my head phone screaming and what I thought was slapping..I jumped out of bed ..And realized it was a lady trying to scare of some intruders..I was listing waiting to hear baby cries Elliott’s crib is right in by the front door ..Moments later there was honking and running..My blood was pumping..There was no babies crying…then there was lots or people speaking in Luganden ..then the president and director showed up..I was so relieved to hear their voices..this is the third time this happened it happened before me and Aaron showed up then again when I was staying at the guest house…well another night of no sleep..i slept in the living room with the lights on..I cannot believe no babies woke up..Praise the lord!!!
Here is some lyrics from Jeramy Camp “One Day At A Time”
One day at a time I will walk this road I've traveled so far
One day at a time well I know I will carry on
One day at a time I can see you took my life this far
One day at a time I will take this faith along

All this hope I breathe is given by the hand that carries me
Until I'm complete and I'll take all I will
To understand this plan you have for me, for me

I've been shut up shut down held out held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out broken torn out torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life

one day at a time

One day at a time I will take these words you've given me
One day at a time I will rest in knowing you
One day at a time I will share this gift you've given me
One day at a time I will walk these valleys through

And all I know is that I see
How much my heart is longing to be cradled by your side
Yeah, I'll give all I can
To one day soon be held by your hand, by your hand

[Chorus]

In all these things I will press on, yeah
I'll be with you I know it won't be long
It might be the best time to be writing..being exhausted and not knowing when our court date is…I was not at my best today…Elliott was just as tired as me…he also got his head shaved today..as well as all the boys..he threw a big fit at lunch..he knew I was about to leave..I hate this ..I hope this afternoon goes better…

Day 30

Well Good news..God is in control….not so good news is that our court date is not next week..I hope to find out when it will be Monday..I did read on Abrahams faith last night..
Abraham entered into what God was doing for him..that was the turning point..He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own..so if you see a job that is too big for you ,that it is something only God can do and you TRUST him to do it..you could never do it your self no matter how hard and long you worked…well that trusting him to do it is what gets you set right with God, by God..Holy smokes….the one who trust God to do the putting every thing right without insisting on having a say in it is a fortunate man….4:16 the promise comes by faith…4:20..YET he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promises of God…But was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God…being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised…9:16 it does not depend on human desire or effort..but Gods mercy..I have raised you up for this very purpose ..that I may display my power in you…
I am so thankful God enlisted me in the Fight to bring Elliott home…my thought are not on when the battle will be over but on standing and fighting till the end..Nothing really new ..Elliott did say shoe and ball he love to were shoes whether they are girls or way to small..I brought him up to my living courters and he was a different little boy he ran around playing trying to play hide and seek..down with the other kids I think he is afraid another little one will get me if he lets go…they keep telling he used to be such a good independent guy now he just cries for you which gets him in trouble..…I told Aaron that he was just waiting for his mom..Before coming here God showed me that he was holding him…and he still is!!!
1 pet 5:8
Keep a cool head..stay alert ..the devil is poised to pounce..he would love to catch you napping…keep your guard up..keep firm grip on the faith…the suffering won’t last forever..

Day 29

Well I went to bed only to wake up at 11:30…I need to to some spriritual warfare …God spoke to me through the Israelites and the promise land…God has given me my promise land I just need to go in and fight for it here is part of what God spoke to me…it is kinda scrambled..
Fight for what god has put in your hands….God makes an agreement he keeps it…the lord set this land before you…you just receive it….they sent spies out…bad reports came back…they wanted to go back into the land god took them out of…as long as God is with us who can be against us…you have to believe in Gods power…God brought us this far..why would he leave us now…you must believe God is big ..you have a chose to pick up the sword and fight or pick up the sandal and wonder…focused on the blessing not the difficulty…your going to get opposition..quiet the opposition…I am fighting for my promise land…God is with me..I will be victorious!!! Everything is set just march in…the way you see your situation is the way it will be..God carried us through the loss of Ethan and brought us here…now that I am here I know he will take me the rest of the way…God already went ahead of me…I will pick up the sword!! I decided to stay and fight…I never doubted you…I believe my God is big enough!!! There is no BUTs or however the promise land is good and I will fight for it..I will not limit my God…stop looking at the negative…yes there is going to be opposition when you do something out of the norm..hush the negative voices…I still am going to do it!!! It is going to be hard but big deal..God is with me..eyes of the natural does not give you a clear picture of what is really going on…God open up my eyes…don’t just look in the physical..there is more going on it the spiritual…lack of believe was a act of rebellion..
I had less sleep last night but I have more energy…the ladies came back today and this time I was able to encourage instead of crying..I am not worried about when the court date is I just know I am here to fight for Elliott..the bond with him was so instant and strong..I already feel like his mom…and this morning I dedicated him to God and commanded the devil to leave..I feel so free this morning..Elliott is such a treasure…no really he is the greatest little man ever…thank God for the sword of the spirit…the more you believe the more it is powerful..I was saying all the right thing but I had to add the authority we have been give with it..what a difference…

Day 28

So I am taking one day at a time…God has been so faithful to send people my way to encourage me and pray for me every were I go…I met a couple at the shopping center that had a daught adopt and had the same thing happen with the mother coming up last min…then there some ladies that came to baby house to day and found out I was adopting Elliot she said she has a picture of him on her computer and said she feels he as an anointing on his life and has been praying for him…God had others praying for him before we knew about him..the lady that picked him up said the same thing…I feel like the more I press in whenever I am not with Elliott I am up stairs with head phones in with worship on and reading the word or listing to a message…I will get pumped up then later I feel like satan just pounces on me…this is one battle I will not turn from…I look at Elliott and just know that God sent us to fight for this little man ….I told Elliott he was making mommy one strong woman of faith…we still don’t have a court date …but I know God is in control!!!! I am trying not just to endure but be victorious and walk in the joy of the lord..the tears may still come But I am still fighting…I have decide not to focus on when I may or may not coming home but just enjoy the journey…that is easier said then done…I know I am not fighting alone…that helps..

Day 28

So I am taking one day at a time…God has been so faithful to send people my way to encourage me and pray for me every were I go…I met a couple at the shopping center that had a daught adopt and had the same thing happen with the mother coming up last min…then there some ladies that came to baby house to day and found out I was adopting Elliot she said she has a picture of him on her computer and said she feels he as an anointing on his life and has been praying for him…God had others praying for him before we knew about him..the lady that picked him up said the same thing…I feel like the more I press in whenever I am not with Elliott I am up stairs with head phones in with worship on and reading the word or listing to a message…I will get pumped up then later I feel like satan just pounces on me…this is one battle I will not turn from…I look at Elliott and just know that God sent us to fight for this little man ….I told Elliott he was making mommy one strong woman of faith…we still don’t have a court date …but I know God is in control!!!! I am trying not just to endure but be victorious and walk in the joy of the lord..the tears may still come But I am still fighting…I have decide not to focus on when I may or may not coming home but just enjoy the journey…that is easier said then done…I know I am not fighting alone…that helps..

Day 27

Well I just but Elliott to bed I just act like normal and help put all the little ones down..I would get out of eye shot and he would freak out..He will be ok I have to remember I will have the rest of his to love on him…I am constantly humming praises or giving myself a pep talk..like telling myself God is in control and to enjoy the journey..we should have a court next week we just but we don’t have the date yet ..I am taking it day by day the system is so weird …it can move fast or slow depending on the mood of the person…I do love working at the baby home it is so much fun..I just can’t wait for Elliott to know he is our son!!! And not have to leave him..he clinged so tight when we got out of the car at the baby home…my focus is to be with him as much as possible and to also be a blessing here as well..I know God is driving out the spirit of fear form my life…I think some of the emotions is from don’t dealing with the loss of Ethan..and the fear of failing..I feel like I am in a spiritual battle and I that is how I am fighting …in the spirit by letting his praises being on my lips and giving fear and doubt no room…I will ride this out with out losing my joy and peace..I don’t really have any news..other we are now living at the baby home….

Day 26

Well today with Elliott went great he was feeling a lot better he played and laughed more then I have ever seen…well today I got a phone call saying that I have to move Elliott back into the baby home..to be honest I was shocked the let me remove him so quickly…it is for precaution for his emotional well being…I don’t know what happened but fear leaped on me soo fast I didn’t have time to think..I still am trying to put myself together …I don’t know why I feel like this is a step back it makes since…but I hit my weakest point..I am soo afraid to loose him..I will be moving with him..they only time I wont be with him is nap time and bed time…I don’t know why I am allowing this to effect me so bad…I think the loss of ethan is still with me..and the fact that was almost a sure thing then it turned last minute…I know God told me to stay and Elliott is the reason…so I still need to keep trucking but this is the hardest thing ever..I know life will bring other storms…the fear hit me so bad that the thought hit me to leave before you get hurt again…but that was the high school Tiffany coming out…Elliott is Gods plan..and I must not miss out on this blessing God has already set out for us…He promised us he would not drop us..I just still need to stand firm…I guess God really wants me to get this lean on him and trust him thing…I need to pull myself together…love you guys..

Day 25

Well this morning started out good he woke me up by saying mama…mama..He was still was hot but acted fine and eat a big breakfast I only had a half a dose of Tylenol left so I gave it to him..he played some more then he just got really lethargic and more hot..I really wish I brought a thermometer…but it was for sure a high fever..so I put him in the carrier and hiked down to Sam and Barb’s to get more Tylenol..she said since he keeps getting better then worse that is was malaria…with malaria the symptoms come and go..so she gave me med to treat him for malaria…I gave him more Tylenol then headed back up to the house by the time I got back to the house he was so out of it he fell asleep …I let him rest before giving him the malaria meds…once the Tylenol started to take effect he woke up enough to give him the meds …well he has loved taking meds up until the the malaria he really does not like it…but after I gave it to him he fell back asleep..but then soon came out of it and looked a little better. they told me that he will get better then in 12 hr will get sick again…but then should be fine...he has a little table fetish he wont let me put him down on the ground but will let me set him on the table …so if I really need to get something done I will set him on the counter or table next to me..he also is a coffee drinker..I gave him a sip hoping he would not like it…but he did..and now thows a fit if he doesn’t get any..the first time this happed I gave him tea and he drank that…crazy kid..today he got pretty much whatever he wanted so I gave him the last bit of my coffee he kept trying to get more out of the cup…but he was happy…I told my mom it was not spoiling it was building trust…the people here try so hard to get him to laugh and he just gives them a stone cold face ..I tell them he does laugh and smile …he just doesn’t like and audience…Iam writing this early because right now he is happy and I don’t know if I will get to it later…I will tell you guys later how he does…well he has been off and on all day they said it is really painful when the parasites are dying off…so he will be fine then he will go in to a crying bit..then get lethargic for a while ..then be ok again..I am getting some ib before the 12 hr mark hits so I can alternate Tylenol and ib..I got an email form the lawyer saying he submitted our papers..so we should know our court date tomorrow some time…thank you for all your prayers…our God is big..I know I am walking in his strength..the only time I felt on my own was when God was trying to get me out of an un safe place..I cant wait to see you all…love you…I add pic of our coffee drinking boy..

Day 24

The first night in Kampala went great we got back in time for dinner with the whole gang. I just felt so much better..the morning went great he slept in till 8:15…he loved tea time..after tea time he took a short nap..he woke up with a fever he has not been holding down any food..I assumed it was just him adjusting to the new foods..I was wrong..he was un consolable he just wanted to be held with me standing up..I gave him Tylenol but that didn’t work..so finally I gave him ib and then he started to look better…he still is not eating much.. so not much today just a sick adjusting baby…I think I might be spoiling him..he will not hold his Sippy cup he wants me to give it to him like a bottle…the only reason I am still keeping him on the Sippy is for travel…right now he is getting pretty much what he wants…I know I have gone temporally insane…he does sleep in his own bed..Aaron should be proud…I do rock him to sleep however…his pic from the first day till now are so great to see the change..I added more today…he is not big on smiling …I tell people he does smile but they don’t believe me..well I got proof now…well we should know in a couple days when our court date is..looks like there might be a new judge seeing cases so hopefully that will work to our advantage…either way we have a big God on our side..

Day 23

the first nigh went ok..except the disco party outside our window. Elliott went to sleep fine just tossed and turned a lot. The next morning on the way to church I started to feel a heavy knot in my stomach and didn’t know why..I sat in church an emotional wreck. Pray to find out what could be wrong. God was pouring encouragement my way through the message and mid way God told me to move back to Kampala..after I made my mind up to do that I got my peace back. Has soon as got out of church I called the lady at the baby home and asked her if I could move Elliott with me to Kampala she said yes. Praise the Lord!! And 30 min later I had a taxi..I feel much better now..And Elliott already loves Esters cooking…I don’t know the reason yet but I am more comfortable and at ease…so we are back at Rick and Sarah and he and I are doing great…so are day went fast with the quick desion to move..

Day 22

Well the day really as not started but I do have some good new one is we file with our paper work Monday or Tuesday so we are praying for a court date on the 20th. Second is I am moving out of the baby house and I am taking Elliott with me. Before Aaron left we became his foster parents till he is 18 and since I have decided to stay until I get to bring him home..There is no reason why he has to stay here..We will be at the baby house during the day for free play so I can still help out here. The house I am moving it to is walking distance from the baby house so it is perfect! I don’t have to leave him crying at night any more. Praise the lord. I try not to let the fear that it some how will not work out. I have to remember that I am in God’s hands and he will not drop me or Elliott. So I have now transitioned Mr. Elliott to eating all meals with me. He is sitting here as we speak enjoying a PB and J and eating every crumb. Also no more naps at the baby home. He likes this arrangement so far!!! Mom does too!! Nap time went well he likes to be rocked, he fought it a little but gave it. I am so exited he his adjusting well…the better he does the more Iam praying the rest of the process goes smooth and quick. Well we move today. Hopefully it is a little more quiet then here.. so after nap and snack with mom…he was more playful and interactive with the other kids..so he is coming around .we will see how tonight goes..

Day 21

Another day I cannot believe it has been 21days part of me feels like we have been here for 6 months..Well I am going to be honest with you all I was having a ruff emotional day..I kept going back it to my room to pray and read, I just could not get it together…I heard three ladies talking outside they were just here to visit I walked straight pass them a couple times..When time can for Elliott to get dressed I went down to help..as I picked him up to put his diaper on the ladies started talking to me and asking me question I for some reason told one of them my story..I was not sure why since I really was not going to tell anyone…I left out names but one of them spoke up and said the organization that we went through with Ethan..I looked at in shock and started to cry..I don’t know where that came from I have not cried since coming to the baby house ..I guess the pain is still lingering around..Even though God has giving me strength and grace…well they were what I guess I need at the time .woman who have also fought for their children.. I do not know the full reason behind all of this but I know my God is at work and I am not questioning it..so Elliot was a cling on today I guess they said he refused to eat last night and wanted to be spoon feed then all morning he would not let go which is common for a lot of kids here but not Elliott…he wouldn’t leave me nor could any kid come near me..at lunch I took his shirt off and put him in side for lunch ..Thinking if I left he would stop crying and eat..10 minutes later one of the mommas called me down saying Elliott was refusing to eat..I then came down and sat by him and put is hand on the plate..He then eat his lunch..I have never sat by him during any meal so I don’t know what is in his mind..He now chosen us and there is no turning back..The ladies then asked me to sit with for every meal..which is not a problem I thought I was avoiding him throwing a fit by leaving..all I can say is we need a court date now…then I will move back with Rick and Sarah's ….

Day 20

well this morning there was a lot more ladies helping so said hi to Elliott then left till it was play time..I was avoiding a fit.He know if he crys I will save him. So when little man got dressed I got him and brought him up to the volunteer room to hand out I also gave him a banana which all of this was a bad Idea first he would not let go of the banana second he would not eat it…He wanted to save it for later.. I then had to take the banana from his hand to go outside and play with his friend and I couldn’t let all his little friend see what I gave him. He stopped crying so I took him back in to his room. He threw the biggest fit one of the house mammas took him and put him in his crib for a time out. I let this happen ..as soon as she backed off I scooped him up and took him out of the room..can you see the issues Iam causing for this little guy…shame on me…so I have started to back of to keep him on schedule with all the kids..so when I know nap time is coming I leave him happy before time comes …to avoid a fit.. Same with dinner…I come back after dinner and still help with getting ready for bed ..that is one fit I have to deal with..I still hold him till the last minute..it just p prolongs the crying but then I just move out of the room..He loves to be sung to it cures most fits ..I have been praying like never before to have favor to get a quick court date..After the court date I can move him out of the baby home.. right now be helping out here is helping my case in court..the director is going to say I have been here helping out and spending time with Elliott..she just is going to leave out for how long…I know God is walking me through all of this and I believe God is going to shine through all of this..He is my every thing right now Iam hanging on to him for dear life..kinda like some of the kids here when you pick them up the will grab your neck and will not let you go… God is stretching me like never before..I still cant belive we have gotten to this point..when we should have just went home..instead Good is taking to broken heart and bring them together..Our God is soo Good !!!! well Elliot love being pushed in the wagon and his little red bike he cant reach the petals yet but he love climbing on it and being pushed or just sitting on it…he also loves the swing… I can tell he is trying to talk he is saying under his breath.. today went long I pray the rest of the time goes faster..I love being here I also cant wait to come home

Day 19

Well today was a good day. We went in to town early this morning to meet with the lawyer to sign papers so he can file for a court date. First off we got in to tow to be dropped off in the middle of the city..with the crazy traffic. When then waked to a shopping center to find our it was not open yet. So we walked to a coffee shop about 2 miles away. We were not meeting the lawyer till 11 or 12 so we had time to kill. We walked back to the shopping center and walked around for awhile. We bought one whole season of CSI on one disc to help me buy timeat nap time . we then took a boda boda for the first ime to see the lawyer (a motorcycle taxi) Aaron seen one carrying a casket on one to day they use them to transport all sorts of thing it is crazy seeing them move through traffic. We got to the lawyers office has we sat there he was talking about us supporting Elliott for three months then coming for a court date. I said no way and that we did not do that with Ethan and that the judge already knows about our other case and that we were told we would be fine seeking guardianship for another child. I have no clue were I got the guts to tell him that.but Aaron just sat there like that was an option..I know that is the norm process but I know it also can be done without the whole three months thing. Yes the judges like it but they also are not going to say no for a child to be put in a loving home. No matter how grouchy they are. Bottom line is it for the benefit of the child!!! To say the least the lawyer is going to file for our court date asap : ) so he asked us to leave and come back so he could write up the papers. So back on the boda bodas we went ..We went for some lunch which we had an awkward time in the food court at the shopping center. We sat down and we had a vender from every food place bring us a menu and hover around us until we decided what we wanted. Talk about pressure. We finally decide what to eat then the rest all took their menus and left. It was crazy…. Well after lunch we then went back to the lawyers office where he had the papers done but the electricity went out so he could not print them …so we waited for it to come back on ….after waiting for a while and my ride back to the baby home was waiting and Aarons ride to airport was also waiting we decide to go to internet café to print it off so Aaron could sign before he left..so we this time called a taxi to take us ..we quickly got to the internet café printed them off them we met up with Aarons ride to take me to my ride .our lawyer came along as well since he was ging the same direction..the lawyer is a really sweat man but has not been a lawyer long so he wants to have all his ducks in a row. So I just tell him what the other lawyers told us and they are members of parliament then he seem to go with it.. well I got back to the baby home and could not wait to hug Elliott..he was just as exited..they ladies said he threw a fit this morning when we were not at his bed side when he woke…I then played with him till dinner ..I have taken over the diaper changing and pj time for his whole class..I love it.. we then put them to bed..well since Aaron left me shorthanded I was not able to hold Elliot as the previous nights before bed..Making he was the last one to go down..he threw another fit ..till I picked him up..oops Iam getting the boy in trouble..so I had to leave him crying …well Iam exited for another day with the Elliott!!! God has giving me the grace to enjoy this season…I still cant believe all that has happened and they journey is still in process..Love you all…
My life revoles around elliotts shuedule 7am diaper change and bath (rinsed off in the shower)8am breakfast and getting dressed then free play inside(mom and Elliott time)snack then out door play till 12 lunch and nap …wake up at three for snack then free play with all kids outside till dinner at 5…then it gets crazy getting them all bathed and dressed for bed …..

Day 18

Well the day started out great we got up before Elliot and played with him while he was still in his crib. We then got him dressed and took him out side for some one on one time. Which he almost missed mid morning snack oops! we then hung out all morning with him . I cannot believe we are still here hanging out with this little guy. I am trying not to guard my heart. I know everything will be fine but every once in a while those ifs sneak in… Elliot loves for us to sing to him. He doesn’t talk but instead has this cute little holler that you can pick out of the crowed. He is not attion hog instead he will let all the kids pass him in line. Well the last shall be first. Well that does work here .while Elliot went down for his nap me and Aaron walked into town for lunch and groceries. When we got back they were all waking up ready for their snack. I got to feed all the kiddos and then we went outside to play. .We spent the rest of the afternoon playing they boy likes to be held the issue is that so do a lot of the other kids. We are trying to give 80 percent to Elliot . today was Aarons last day with him…also we both won’t see him much tomorrow since we are going into town to meet with the lawyer . So sad. We got to get all the kids dressed and put them to bed. I held on to Elliot till he was the very last one to be put to bed… I had to leave him crying..I can’t wait till he is in my care….I also can’t wait till bath times are enjoyable..They just throw them in the shower and wash them off and set them on potty chairs for about 15 minutes … it has been a fun busy day.. I can’t wait to meet with the lawyer and get everything running.

Day 17

Well it was a great day!! We got to the baby house this morning Aaron went to the restroom and came back with Elliot. We then watched him play with the other kids …surprise the little rascal does walk just some times he chooses not to. He didn’t smile a lot I guess he was left alone a lot. We finally got him to smile by throwing him in the air and hanging him upside down. We also met with social worker talked with her and filled out all the forms them we went to talk to the probation officer we then left and had to come back to the probation officer to get out forms sighed by the high magistrates to say we are Elliot’s official foster parents till he is 18 .this is only one of the steps to bring him home. Next we have to meet with the lawyer and then he will file for our court date. We hung out all day with him we even got to get him ready and put him to bed. He is still staying at the baby house till after court. He loves to be held .but he also likes to be in depended. He is getting cuter by the moment. We got the probation officer to say he was 1.5 so he can travel as a lap baby since no one really knows his birthday. Looks like everything is moving smoothly so far, pray the court date is soon…. We will take more pictures tomorrow today we were to consumed with getting to know our boy!!!

Day 16

So today was a relaxing day. We went to the local church here this morning and then came home and waited for lunch. We went to a local favorite restaurant today. It was a beautiful place where you sat outside overlooking Lake Victoria. It was really peaceful just sitting on the edge of the lake without a care in the world. You either ordered chicken or fish. So since it was both Tiffany and I, we ordered one of each. The chicken came out first, it was a single piece of fried chicken, the wing attached to the breast, and some fries. Then they brought out the fish, the entire fish head to tail. They actually fry the entire fish after gutting it and serve it that way. I think this is why the local missionaries say it is a local favorite. The fish was actually really tasty and between the two of us we ate the whole thing. It was seasoned really well.After dinner we came home, and relaxed and took a nap. We then packed everything up since tomorrow we will be out to the town where the baby cottage is to stay there till we get the baby boy’s visa. I will be staying there till Wednesday when we are going to try to meet with the lawyer and then I will come back to where we are staying currently prior to leaving to the airport to fly out. Tiffany will stay there to allow her to be with baby Ryder as much as possible. We are so excited, but a little more nervous now then we were before as we have been hurt. We just are praying that we will not hold anything back and love as though we have not been hurt. We know that God has protected our hearts through this and believe he will continue to do so. Now the information that you all want to know, as far as we know Ryder is about 2 years old. He is actually small for age due to malnourishment. When the baby house took him in only 2 months ago his hair was actually orange, which is a big sign of malnourishment. We will most likely shave his head to allow for health hair to grow back strong. He is barely able to walk, which is not uncommon because the kids typically are carried on the back or placed in one central location while the parents go off to work. He has no parents as he was completely abandon at a local hospital. The main reason they are guessing that he around 2 is that he has a full set of teeth. Based on his size we cannot tell from the malnourishment. Although once he is on a regular healthy diet he should catch up, but will always be a little bit smaller then he should have been due to lack of nutrients during the critical time of growth.He will get to come home with Tiffany when she does come home. We are not sure when that will be. At this point the process is on Monday we will meet with the local social worker here and then he/she will sign off saying that we are fit to be parents of this child. Then on Wednesday, we will meet with the lawyer, who will draft all our paperwork and we will hopefully sign that day. The lawyer will then also have to pull all the information that he has together to get a birth certificate for Ryder, since he was abandoned and he doesn’t have one. Once the birth certificate is done we can then submit for a court hearing. Tiffany will go to that which will most likely be on a Monday from what I understand, so our goal would be the 13th, but may be the 20th. Once we have the court date and meet with the judge we then have to get a Ugandan passport and health check for Ryder, along with taking all the paperwork minus passport and court orders to the US Embassy to get started on the visa. The court ruling and order can take a week to two weeks so we are praying for a quick turn around on that. Then we take that with the passport to the Embassy and get his visa. Tiffany and Ryder will then fly back to the states to be with me. So we are thinking that they will be back in the states by Halloween, or a week earlier, the sooner the better because I will be going crazy without them. I know that this is longer than normal, but we are moving out the baby house and are not sure if internet will be available there. If not the next update will probably be Friday when I can get access to a computer in the states. We will still try to update everyone on a regular interval from that point forward as I will be calling Tiffany probably daily and then updating everyone. Please keep us in your prayers. You can see more pictures of Ryder and us together at http://picasaweb.google.com/askulp/Ryder.

Day 15

Ok so today we went out a baby house here in Uganda. After a 2 hour drive we got out there and meet one of the workers who knew a little about us and our situation. She got us an application and and our situation. She got us an application and we filled it out. Once the application was filled out we then had the first moment of fear since we have been here in Uganda. It scared us and paralyzed us. We literally sat there the talking about if we should just both go home. After about 10 minutes of this, the lady that handed us the applications came back and grabbed the application along with our home study and references. We waited for about an hour for the director of the house. She showed up and then took us into the office to talk with us for about forty-five minutes asking questions talking about the process and the baby house. She shortly then pulled out the fill of all the boys that they had at the house. She told us that they had two boys that meet the qualifications of our home study. The one was 2 years and the other was 3.5 years old. We told her that we had determined in our heart before we even had talked to anyone about it that we would take the youngest of the kids if an option was presented. So she read us his file and then called for another worker to go get him. After about 10 minutes the worker walked in and put this cute little boy on Tiffany’s lap. We looked at each other and knew that we were both on the same page. There was no doubt in our mind and no fear in our heart at that moment. We then talked with the lady for about 10 to 15 minutes more and then took Elliot (we will call him Ryder) back to his bedroom where the kids were snacking. He inhaled four pieces of pineapple, and pounded his milk down. We then went back and finalized information with the director prior to heading back to our house. We then went back and took a few photos for everyone back home and our own record.So with this our hearts are over excited and know that God has a plan. Given the fact that Aaron will still be able to travel as he had previously planned and we will be able proceed with the guardianship. We are so thankful for everything and are overjoyed to see the outcome.
Well, we are sitting here in our room having some quiet time with God, just thanking him for his grace and blessing on our lives. We are truly amazed at the journey that we are on, and we know that all you who have been reading this on a regular basis feel as though you have been through the ringer with us. But the amazing the joy of the Lord that Tiffany and I feel. We have gotten countless emails about how your hearts are hurting with us. The great thing is that God has guarded our heart and we feel some pain but we are more overcome with excitement about what God has in store for us.As we were sitting we realized that if my flight would not have changed Tiffany would be here in Uganda by herself and I would be in Amsterdam waiting for my flight back to America to leave not having a clue of anything going on. I cannot imagine having Tiffany go through this process by herself. We are so grateful that God stepped in and changed our plans.Along those lines, I cannot help but share something with you that God showed to Tiffany. Before we left, Tiffany was laying a baby into a crib and as she was laying that baby in the crib God spoke to her saying, "I have a better plan." Tiffany figured at that moment that it had to do with the change to parenthood that we are undertaking. Then yesterday as we are driving back to the house were we are staying from the US Embassy, knowing that the next step for us would be to hand Ethan back over. God spoke that same word, "I have a better plan." In that moment Tiffany realized that when God first spoke the word to her He was referring to the path that we are now on.No one could expect the peace that we both feel at this moment, all we know is that we are in God's hands and He is taking care of us. We may not hear all your prayers but I assure you that God does and that we are definitely feeling them every moment of the day.

Day 14

Today has to be the toughest day to right about but amazingly the most peaceful day to write about. Today we meet with the lawyer this morning and there we found out for sure that Ethan's mom and dad are both alive and even though the dad only comes and goes, he is by international standards not an orphan. After we found this out we talked with Sam here at the guest and he suggested that we seek legal counsel, when you are in an international country your legal council is the consultant at the US Embassy. We drove over to the Embassy and being American citizens the Ugandan receptionist would not allow us in. So we got the phone number and called the consultant. He told me that under no situation could he approve a VISA for a child that had both parents involved in even a limited portion of his life. With this news we had no choice we had to request that Ethan be returned to his guardians.We called up David and told him the news, he arranged for us meet with Ethan's Pastor right away and we headed back to the attorney's office where the pastor was at. Ethan fell asleep on the way to the office and once we were there he stayed asleep the entire time. At the office the attorney's paralegal drafted up a notice stating that we were handing over Ethan to the pastor who would hand him over to his mother. As we handed Ethan to the pastor another elderly lady that was with him wanted to hold him, and he woke up as we handed him to her and he cried shortly then was fine as though he knew who the lady was. They left we watched them walk down the street and he did not even cry.After we left the office we headed back to the van and the drive that has been with us through the entire process look at us with shock in his eyes and asked, "Where is the baby?" We almost lost it laughing, and told him what happened.There is some bright news today. Even though we have been through this we are still encouraged, because we know that God has a plan for us here and we know that there is a purpose to this trip. We actually called a baby cottage that we previously had talked to and they said that they would love to talk to us. We are going out there tomorrow and they have ORPHANED children available. They said that there are a few people stateside that are waiting but that with us here we may be able to cut in the ques. So the process for this orphanage is that both parents meet with the child and with a probation officer present to make sure that the parents both care for and can bond with the child. Then one parent can leave and the orphanage submits for a court date and one parent stays for that process. This works out perfectly since I, Aaron, need to leave middle of next and Tiffany can stay as long as needed. So we are excited about this opportunity.Please continue to pray for us, we know that you all are because we have peace today and have essentially lost Ethan today. We know that only through God's strength that we are able to stand right now, let alone look to open our hearts to another child.

Day 13

Well to all you who have been praying over use, a huge and eternal thank you. There is no doubt in our mind that there has been some spiritual warfare that has taken place over the last 24 hours and the God's hand has moved in our situation. Were we stand now is we are his legal guardians, but we cannot leave the country with him. With that said the solution is relatively simple. We are required to go back to court and go through the process all over again, but this time will be easier since we already have guardianship, and the ruling, and we are only correcting a few affidavits. We meet with the attorney today and he is hoping to have a cost to everything in the morning when we meet again at 9am. He is planning on having the documents all drafted by the end of the day on Friday and then allow for the correct people to sign then and return them on Monday and resubmit for a new court date by Tuesday. This is best case scenario and we know that with God it will happen.With all that said today was an eventful beside the whole court thing. We had our first of two doctor appointments for a USA Visa for Ethan; we know he is built like a tank. He is only 2'11" and tips the scale at 42 lbs. This puts him in the lower 10 percentile for kids his age for height (welcome to the Kulp family) and he is actually not even on the chart for weight the chart has a max of 40 lbs. Well, better stock up the pantry when I get home. The doctor also had to take a blood sample, which meant pricking his finger to draw blood. That thumb was out for everyone to know it was hurt for about 2 hours after the small pin prick took place. He sure knows how to milk sympathy from mommy.After the doctor’s office, we meet the people we are staying for coffee and we discovered that glass ash trays do not make very good hats and they tend to fall and shatter when they hit the ground. As does glass cups that Ethan likes to play with once the soda is gone. We then went over to the mall to kill time till lunch; they have a play area for the kids to play with, which was the first time Ethan got to down a slide. He loved it, although the shaky bridge did scare him so daddy had to pick him up and place him on the slide, which I think is not the point of the kids play stuff. I thought it was for the kids to get exercise not the parents.After lunch we went to the attorney's office which I already mentioned what we talked about with him, but the outcome is that we will be going back to court next week hopefully. With this our time over here is going to be extended. Daddy will be leaving here on the 8th late in the evening and then getting home mid afternoon on the 9th and it is unclear as to when mommy and Ethan will be leaving since we need the court documents to be able to be able to get the passport which we need before we can get a VISA. So our trip just got longer, yeah, no.This is just our journey to have a wonderful happy little boy, it is not a negative thing it is the truth and when it is all said and done I am sure we would not trade it for the world.

Day 12

Today has been a great day, we got our ruling and now we are waiting for our orders (the written ruling) and we will officially be Ethan's guardians. He has been great all day today; he goes to Tiffany as much as he does me.Well the roller-coaster continues... I just got off the phone with the orgization that we are going through for the adoption, apparently Ethan's guardian just went to the lawyer’s office and told him that she is not his aunty, but is in fact his mother. And Ethan's father is technically still alive just not a part of his life. This is really bad since we had our ruling today and we are still waiting on the orders, the lawyer cannot ethnically release the documents knowing they were falsified. Therefore, we cannot get legal guardianship of Ethan but his family cannot care for him. Even if we were to get guardianship, the US Embassy will not release a Visa for a non-orphan; therefore we could not even take him into the US. This is all we know at this time, we will try to let everyone know as soon as we know more.so we are because of the ruling to day his legal guardian but we can’t get his passport...are first question will be is if his mom wants him back if she does then end of story but we will have to back to court to revoke guardianship..So freak'n crazy...if in fact she doesn't want him back then we will still do what it takes to bring Ethan home. I still have peace that God is at work in all of this. My heart aches knowing we took him from his mom’s arms. No wonder!! She said she did it because she could not care for him and she wanted him to have a better life. The whole family had to lie for it to get this far. All I know right now is that we are here for a reason and I won’t move till I know why... God would not bring us this far to drop us!!! Love you all and thank you for your prayers...we feel the love!!!
WOW, last night was so fun. We went up stairs after dinner and put together a train track, he loved it. He still calls them motor-cars but he will get it. Then we went in our room and played some music and danced and laughed for a good hour then we laid down in bed only to have Ethan tickle and laugh at us. Mommy could not resist the cuteness. We finally had to roll over and try to ignore his attempt to not go to sleep. He finally went to sleep for a little while then woke up itching we think in was bug bites so we treated him and then he went back to sleep. We slept in we slept through the school kids singing for the first time.We rushed out the door to go to court to get our ruling. We went in front of the judge’s door and his assistant came and asked for the child name then called us in. We sat down in the judge’s chambers and he read the orders and said that our application for guardianship was accepted. It is official Ethan John Kulp now our son to love for ever and always. We are so exited.His doctor’s appointment is tomorrow. We are still waiting for his passport which could be any day hopefully sooner rather than later. If we don’t get it tomorrow, dad goes home Friday. Ethan is going to miss him but he will be ok. God’s grace is so good.