Day 26

Well today with Elliott went great he was feeling a lot better he played and laughed more then I have ever seen…well today I got a phone call saying that I have to move Elliott back into the baby home..to be honest I was shocked the let me remove him so quickly…it is for precaution for his emotional well being…I don’t know what happened but fear leaped on me soo fast I didn’t have time to think..I still am trying to put myself together …I don’t know why I feel like this is a step back it makes since…but I hit my weakest point..I am soo afraid to loose him..I will be moving with him..they only time I wont be with him is nap time and bed time…I don’t know why I am allowing this to effect me so bad…I think the loss of ethan is still with me..and the fact that was almost a sure thing then it turned last minute…I know God told me to stay and Elliott is the reason…so I still need to keep trucking but this is the hardest thing ever..I know life will bring other storms…the fear hit me so bad that the thought hit me to leave before you get hurt again…but that was the high school Tiffany coming out…Elliott is Gods plan..and I must not miss out on this blessing God has already set out for us…He promised us he would not drop us..I just still need to stand firm…I guess God really wants me to get this lean on him and trust him thing…I need to pull myself together…love you guys..