Day 27

Well I just but Elliott to bed I just act like normal and help put all the little ones down..I would get out of eye shot and he would freak out..He will be ok I have to remember I will have the rest of his to love on him…I am constantly humming praises or giving myself a pep talk..like telling myself God is in control and to enjoy the journey..we should have a court next week we just but we don’t have the date yet ..I am taking it day by day the system is so weird …it can move fast or slow depending on the mood of the person…I do love working at the baby home it is so much fun..I just can’t wait for Elliott to know he is our son!!! And not have to leave him..he clinged so tight when we got out of the car at the baby home…my focus is to be with him as much as possible and to also be a blessing here as well..I know God is driving out the spirit of fear form my life…I think some of the emotions is from don’t dealing with the loss of Ethan..and the fear of failing..I feel like I am in a spiritual battle and I that is how I am fighting …in the spirit by letting his praises being on my lips and giving fear and doubt no room…I will ride this out with out losing my joy and peace..I don’t really have any news..other we are now living at the baby home….